The Greatest Thing Ever

The following is a series of pictures depicting Sarah Palin's pregnant teenage daughter getting drunk, "throwing" faux-gang signs and toting firearms with her redneck boyfriend.

Drunk Rednecks & Co.

"But Alex! That's not fair to call them rednecks!". Aha! This is where this delicious piece of orgasmic information comes in. The following is an excerpt from the redneck boyfriend's MySpace:

'I'm a fuckin' redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin' chillin' I guess. Ya fuck with me I'll kick ass."
Status: "In a relationship.''
Children: "I don't want kids.''

My God. Are you kidding me? Are you teasing me with the sweet nectar of the almighty, my Lord? Please tell me this is true! Alas, it is. This man is, indeed, a "fuckin' redneck" and if you fuck with him he'll "kick ass" - and let's not overlook that he "doesn't want kids". Stellar.

"But Alex! That's not fair to attack the unwed, pregnant, gun-toting, drunk teenage daughter of the woman who's running for vice presidency on a ticket that enforces abstinence!"

Why, yes it is. It's also hilarious.

Also, Sarah Palin wanted Alaska to secede. Proof.

I love politics.

Dane Cock: Scourge of Everything

Dane Cook is an abomination to the human race. If sucking the limp cock of mediocrity and lulling impressionable (see: stupid) women with your remotely tolerable Hollister tool appearance makes you a comedian, then I'm fucking Gallagher.

I'm approached on a disturbingly high basis by girls that claim I look like Dane Cook. Instead of fisting them in the scrotum, I jump and scream and rant about Burger King. They laugh, unaware of the sad irony of their existence. There, I just effectively proved attractive white girls to be morons without getting told I'm a "meanie".

That's just how badass I am.

Obama is the Anti-Christ

Just look at the signs!

1. He's black - the color of darkness!

2. He wants to run the free world. Run = Rule? ZOMG!!111

3. He wants to bring peace. IT'S A TRAP!

4. Obama is clearly a Muslim name, and all Muslims are evil.

5. Nostradamus said so. He said "Barack Obama is the Anti-Chist! lol".

Don't be fooled by his apparent earnestness or solid political credentials. HE WANTS TO EAT YOUR BALLS AND USE YOUR DICK AS A TOOTHPICK.